« a simple life » yes, summerdays...

|d|a|t|e|?|Feb. 20th, 2003. |t|i|m|e|?| 03:56pm

I'm finally making a serious Weiss Kreuz yaoi fic. Go me! I wanna do something yuri.. hnnn... but you can't really do that with Weiss. I might do it with.. I dunno. xD Something else. Anyway, I titled this piece: "Shizuka ni naru yo." And it's probably gonna be Yohji and Omi. I'll call it a YohMi! xD! I crack me up.
It's not finished yet. So.. um.. yeah. Give me feedback and suggestions, onegaaai!

prologue

“I keep asking myself why things went the way they did. It seems to make sense to everyone but me... and at the same time, it didn’t happen to anyone but me. I never thought that the saying “no two people are alike” was true, until this happened to me. No one is, in any way, like me.
“I wonder exactly when it began? Was it when I actually joined Weiss? I felt that I was in Persia’s debt and that I had to do so; he practically saved my life. I didn’t want to have to kill anyone... and when you look at me, you’d wonder how someone like me could ever hurt a fly. But it’s all a facade. I’m just one big lie.
“If you need to know my name, it’s... Mamoru Takatori. Persia gave me the name “Omi Tsukiyono,” which I do like better, but feel it’s just too good a name for someone like me. I’m 17 years old, and I’m a no-good killer. An assassin. I’m part of Weiss.
“But I’m not alone... whether that’s good or bad, I’m still not sure. While I feel that I have yet to bond with Abyssinian (and his real name shall not be mentioned, as far as I’m concerned), Siberian and Balinese have become like my brothers. Us four, we work as florists at a small flower shop, and we call it the Koneko no Sumu ie. An old woman, whom we call “Momoe-chan,” lent us the apartment just above the flower shop so we could live there, not knowing that we were... well... who we are. That’s a good thing, though. I wouldn’t want to bother Momoe-san with that.
“Anyway, this probably means nothing at all... since I have written all my mission records on here, anyway. If someone actually finds this, all I have to say is this:

“please save me.”

chapter one

“please save me.”

An eerie silence overwhelmed the assassin after his fingers had grown tired; the rhythmic clicks and clacks of the computer keys had ceased. Omi read and reread his short, depressing documentary and wondered whether or not to leave it open, in the hopes that either Ran, Ken, or Yohji would find it and read it. Was he that desperate for help... or did he even want help? Maybe he just wanted love. But from whom?
“...I’ll write more in it later.” He concluded to himself, clicking the small “x” button in the upper right hand corner of his screen and leaving his room. The document, saved as “kore o yomimasen yo!” would then be used to house his innermost feelings...for anything.
Omi stretched his arms out as wide as he could, bringing them so far back that he felt as if his shoulder blades had ran into one another, and yawned. This sound, however, was muffled by the deafening clap of thunder, which followed a bright flash of lightning that had illuminated his entire room. But Omi was no longer scared of that. He had seen everything. Being afraid of the thunder seemed so... childish.
His own two bare feet would carry him out of his room, which had been pitch-black for three days, save for the blue-white glow of the computer screen. The whole apartment had been dreary ever since their most recent mission, and while all of Weiss was in pain, Omi knew one thing; no one was suffering more than his friend, Yohji Kudou.
Sometimes, at night, he would hear Yohji screaming Asuka’s name – or was that really her name? Omi only knew the blue-haired woman as Neu, from the all-female assassin group Schreient. Though Yohji never screamed the name out of pleasure, as most would think that the playboy was doing; in fact, it sounded like he was being slaughtered.
In the morning, they were lucky to find that he was not ‘slaughtered’ so to speak. If not externally crushed, perhaps on the inside, he had been massacred. As far as the youngest Weiss member knew, Asuka had been Yohji’s best friend and partner until she was supposedly shot to death. When she returned as Neu, the Balinese had frozen inside. Who wouldn’t?
Omi continued walking, the sound of a television drawing him closer and closer. It must’ve been the only source of fun then, what with the distant crowd roaring. Of course, wherever there was ESPN, there was a star-struck Ken Hidaka glued to the TV screen.
“Ken-kun...” Omi muttered, peering at Siberian from the doorway. As predicted, the former soccer player was merely inches away from the screen, soda can in one hand, his free hand clutched tightly into a fist. It seemed as if the teenager couldn’t hear his young friend.
“Oh, no! What was that! What kind of ref. are you?! What a bad call!” A time out was called – for no reason, it seemed – and Ken was outraged. That clenched fist pounded the carpeted floor three times before he noticed that Omi was watching him.
“Ken-kun... it’s late... shouldn’t you be slee–“
”Omi, shhh! This one’s important! Five bucks says Brazil’s goin’ home with the cup!” Ken’s eyes never strayed from the TV screen, even while he spoke.
“... oh.” Omi frowned, sliding onto the couch which Ken seemingly refused to sit on, as he was glued to the TV. Many things were on his mind, and though they didn’t revolve around the soccer game, he thought that he could talk to Ken about them. “Ne, Ken...”
“Omi, can’t it wait until a co– YES! Omi-kun, did you see that?!” An overly enthusiastic Ken sprung up from his sitting position, pointing at the television screen with a broad grin spreading from ear to ear. But when he turned around to face little Omi, the smile wilted and died. “Omi?”
“...is it a commercial yet?” Bombay pouted, staring blankly at the TV screen as Ken’s favorite team won the championship. Ken would’ve been watching, too, if he hadn’t noticed his friend sulking on the couch.”No, it’s not, is it...”
“Omi..kun?” Ken gently nudged Omi aside and took a seat on the couch. “Come on, where’s the happy little Omi-kun I know, huh?”
“Ken-kun?”
“Hmm?”
“I can’t sleep.” He sighed, leaning against the older boy as he closed his eyes. “Yohji is crying again.”
“...I heard. I just... turned the volume up.” Ken slid an arm around Omi’s shoulders and sighed heavily. “He’s really upset over Ne– I mean, Asuka... isn’t he?”
“Don’t you think there’s anything we can do?”
“...this might sound like something Aya would say..” Ken inhaled deeply, and exhaled in the same manner. He, too, closed his eyes, and leaned back into the couch. “... but it’s his problem.”
“What?! Ken-kun?!” Omi bolted up out of the peaceful position the two were in, palm unconsciously planted firmly into the older boy’s gut, his other palm on Ken’s knee. “He’s been crying for three days, and he won’t even eat, and he hasn’t slept, and–“
”O..mi...kun!!” Ken gasped. Omi noticed how he was placing pressure on Ken’s stomach area, and moved. The former soccer player caught his breath, and looked at his friend Omi, who was two years his junior. “I was saying... remember Ouka? It was something you had to deal with–“
”But... you always told me it would be okay.”
“...oh. Eh heh...” Ken rubbed the back of his neck and smiled nervously. “Well.. I mean...it made you feel better... but you were still sad, remember? That’s how this is.”
“... I don’t get it.” Omi resumed his ‘sleeping position,’ head rested on the older boy’s shoulder as he ran the words over in his mind. It didn’t make much sense to him the first time around. “It made me feel better! So Yohji would probably feel better if you told him the same thing, right?”
“Well... sort of. You were still sad, remember? So sometimes, words really don’t help much, Omi-kun. But at least, if someone says it’ll be okay, you know that your friends are there for you.” Ken paused for a minute to think. “...I think, maybe if you go tell Yohji it’ll be okay, he’ll be happier.”
“Why don’t you come with me?”
“What, and miss the game?”
“I thought it was done!”
“It was a commercial break, remember?!”
Omi laughed at his friend, thinking that Ken could be so predictable at times, and got up off the couch. Instantly, those two frail hands of his ran through his own hair, finger-combing the cropped golden-brown strands until he felt that he was even slightly presentable. “Thank you, Ken-kun.”
“Oh, now it’s something about your hair.” The older boy grinned, standing up and fixing Omi’s hair for him. When he felt that his friend looked half-decent, he withdrew his hands and patted Omi on the shoulder. “There you go. Now, you don’t look like a monster.”
“A monster?! Ken-kun...!” Omi pouted.
Ken laughed loudly, and it echoed through the nearly empty room. “I’m kidding. Now go.”

As soon as he left Ken’s room, he heard yet another loud cry from Yohji’s room, though it was at the other end of the hall. He instantly began to doubt himself, and thought it best not to bother Yohji at all... instead, he went back to his own room. He reopened his saved file, and began to type away.
“Balinese keeps crying,” it read. “I talked to Siberian about it, and he thought I should go tell him everything was OK. But I wonder if he’ll believe that? Even I don’t think things are OK. I really worry about him...”

Current Mood: accomplished

šhå®¡ñg †ímê wï†h ýðü... ¤ 4 smiles.

|d|a|t|e|?|Feb. 19th, 2003. |t|i|m|e|?| 10:23am

Happy birthday, utsukushii_sora!! :D Be happy~!!

šhå®¡ñg †ímê wï†h ýðü... ¤ 2 smiles.

|d|a|t|e|?|Feb. 19th, 2003. |t|i|m|e|?| 12:25am

Ikaru: My booty only needs rough love from a girl's strap on. x.x;

Yeah. This is exactly what you want to see at 12 in the morning.

Current Mood: tired
Current Music: Silence...

šhå®¡ñg †ímê wï†h ýðü... ¤ 4 smiles.

|d|a|t|e|?|Feb. 17th, 2003. |t|i|m|e|?| 10:08pm

I like this song. It's so r0x0r my s0x0rs and no b0x0rs. And I must stop being a dork. Yes. I'm being a dork. x_X;

My layouts look so oogly moogly. Man.. anyway... I went out and played in the snow today. It rocked, but I still felt out of place. I'm just the socially inept beast of a child with no friends... well, no friends that care. I mean, what with this whole two-faced-Cherise crisis and then no one else ever cared anyway. But today was Leila's birthday. And Happy Birthday Leila. At 2:17 today Mom wanted to call Leila to make a wish (2:17, 2/17! Get it?) because she thought it was funny, but we couldn't find her. So I made a wish for her and I wished that she'd be a lot happier. I hope it comes true, even though I never believed in making any wishes. Mine never came true anyway. They still don't.

Anyway, I feel so bored. I wish I could get out more, now that we're snowed in. Isn't it ironic?

Current Mood: listless
Current Music: Lapis Lazuli >> Fuuga (Vocal Version of Anji Mito's theme)

šhå®¡ñg †ímê wï†h ýðü... ¤ 2 smiles.

|d|a|t|e|?|Feb. 16th, 2003. |t|i|m|e|?| 09:51pm

I saw "My big fat Greek wedding" again. I like that movie for some reason. The father there reminds me of my father. Sooooo obsessed with the Arab culture. I have to be a muslim, I have to marry a muslim male, yada yada yada. He even goes so far as to asking me to give him any word and he'll find its Arab roots... sometimes. But when he does do it, you wish he didn't. You know? Well, OK, maybe you don't know, but be lucky you don't. Anyway, I'm tired. Did I mention we're snowed in?

We're SO going to be going to school till halfway through the summer...

Current Mood: indescribable
Current Music: Daisuke Ishiwatari >> Existence

šhå®¡ñg †ímê wï†h ýðü... ¤ 6 smiles.

|d|a|t|e|?|Feb. 15th, 2003. |t|i|m|e|?| 01:23pm

This song reminds me of Rose. Why is it that the one person I ever really felt attracted to is the one person I can't have?!! Damn it! And I'll probably never see her again, either! Why, of all people I could've picked out of a crowd, did I go for the one that... nevermind. Maybe it was just meant to happen. If people like her lived here, I wouldn't feel so alone.

And she was cute, too. I mean, very cute. Innocent-like cute. When she danced, she was actually dancing, not just sticking her ass up in the air and grinding. She was the most modest-dressed person there, too.. even moreso than me, because I had gone all out that night just to catch someone's eye. But why did I just have to catch hers?

It's so unfair.. when I went back to the hotel that night, everyone gave me this pat on the back because (in Rabia's words): "I never thought you'd find someone... not here anyway." And I just smiled and figured that I'd get over her, and went to sleep that night without thinking about her twice. Before the closing ceremonies the next day, she gave me her e-mail address and said, "I must sound like a dork, but why don't we keep in touch this way?"

Why'd I have to write her? I feel so alone now...

Current Mood: lonely
Current Music: t.A.T.u >> All the things she said

šhå®¡ñg †ímê wï†h ýðü... ¤

|d|a|t|e|?|Feb. 13th, 2003. |t|i|m|e|?| 09:12pm

Tonight was FUN. ;D I got to learn grappling techniques and I got to hurt a brown - with - white - stripe - belt kid! :DDDD But.. ^^; I kept saying "I'm so sorry!" every time one of them started to wrinkle their faces in protest... after I twisted their arms, hands, and pulled back their fingers. ^^; I know I was told not to say sorry to anyone above a red belt, but I couldn't help it. But, yeah... tonight's was a real work out. But I need a shower. After all that, I smell... funky. O_o

Tomorrow is the oh-so-dreaded Valentine's day. >/ I'll get used to it. My father bought my mother this really super cute card and I was like: *________________* WE'RE A GOOD FAMILY AFTER ALL! It's also Kathleen's birthday tomorrow! I'll get her some moo-lah. She said she wanted moo-lah. I'm already working on her Axl-Low costume for Otakon. I think I'll have to paint over my treasured Globe shirt, since it's the only long red shirt I have.. so... ._.;; But I'll live. I can always get another shirt.. in the men's department. x3 Way to go me.

Current Mood: tired
Current Music: Hitomi >> Maria (album mix)

šhå®¡ñg †ímê wï†h ýðü... ¤ 4 smiles.

|d|a|t|e|?|Feb. 12th, 2003. |t|i|m|e|?| 09:02pm

Here! I made some spiff icons for you guys! And since I'm retarded and can't use LJ-cut, I'll just post them here!
By the way, the Luffy one might be a little too big to use for a blurty icon.. but if you want to use it as a message board sig., go on ahead!

Current Mood: happy
Current Music: Yôkoso CDs disc 2 >> Telling time.

šhå®¡ñg †ímê wï†h ýðü... ¤ 20 smiles.

|d|a|t|e|?|Feb. 11th, 2003. |t|i|m|e|?| 09:23pm

What's the big deal with Valentine's day? Only an even bigger chance for the people that are hoes to be even bigger hoes with their boyfriends, who they think are just "soooo cuuuuute"although they have acne all over their faces and it contrasts greatly with their bleached hair, and their blue eyes, and their piercings which, by the way, are OUT OF THE STYLE. ><;;;; I might as well go up to one of those pimple-ridden fuckers and shout, "Hey, Pizza-face! How's it goin'?!"

.. *sigh.* I got back from Karate class just a little while ago. It was fun, but tiring. Oh.. and I hate life. Again. Did I mention that? I'm going to sleep now.. >>; Or at least I hope so. Leila helped me rearrange my room so now I have a TV. Every time I want to go to sleep, something cool comes on and I'm all like: O_O

Oh... and I listen to those Yôkoso CDs that Midori-sensei gave me to practice my Japanese with. I play them when I go to sleep. :B Great way to enforce that craziness into my head. Now, if I could find my actual textbook, I'd enforce it even more, damn it! :/

And.. I'm still sleepy. *dies* X_x; .. And I need a hug.

Current Mood: tired
Current Music: One Piece >> Wanted!

šhå®¡ñg †ímê wï†h ýðü... ¤ 13 smiles.

|d|a|t|e|?|Feb. 8th, 2003. |t|i|m|e|?| 07:56pm

I got Guilty Gear X2 today. :3 It is so spiff. I love Zappa and his demented ness. Did you know that Ueda Yuuji was his seiyuu? (He's also the seiyuu for Amiboshi/Suboshi.) And Inoue Kikuko, or something like that, is I-no? ^^; And Koyasu Takehito is Zato-1/ Eddie? Isn't that spiff? :3 Anyway, I didn't get to see "Chicago" with Leila and the group because they told me they were going to see "How to lose a guy in 10 days," and I think that movie looks stupid, so... yeah. I missed my chance. ;_; Now Leila says I should go with Will to see it, but... ewww~! Boys have cooties!! ;_______;!!!

Current Mood: hyper
Current Music: t.A.T.u >> All the things she said

šhå®¡ñg †ímê wï†h ýðü... ¤ 1 smile.

|d|a|t|e|?|Feb. 7th, 2003. |t|i|m|e|?| 09:40am

What a relief, we have snow! And lots of it, no less! It's really pretty... I might actually go out in it this time. And what a lifesaver! I have an assignment that I didn't finish, and it would've been due today if we had school! Whoo!!! ^^v Now I got a weekend to do it!

Gomen ne, Maji, that I've deleted my Ramza icon (I know how you liked that one. x3).. I'll send it to you later through e-mail... or something like that. But I did make a Kurapica icon. :3 He so cute. ... ANYWAY! Man, last night was the best. I had my first actual Karate class, and I "picked skills up quickly" according to the Malinger. At the end, I had to go present myself to the older students, and show them the techniques I learned as they called them out. And at the end of each one, I had to shout, "SIR!" or "MA'AM!" depending on who it was.

Shi-Fu Sean's been working with me a lot more, so I can now do single punches, double punches, Shi-bu stance, Ma-bu stance, Kung-bu stance, three different kinds of bows, Li-chou, Li-bé, and Relax. I'm working on a back-hand sort of thing, as if I punched but my hand was blocked, so I bring it around and hit Shi-Fu in the head before I block my face. But it's hard, because he keeps guiding my arm and telling me to get into a Kung-bu stance while I punch.

After I presented myself to everyone, I got a hand clap. ^^; The older ones were all like, "Way to go, new girl!" even though... ;_; I have to sit at the end of the line. It's about rank; the "strongest" is at the very end, and the weakest (me) is the last one. It'll change when a new student comes, and I won't have to be at the end anymore.

They introduced themselves to me in a funny way. They line up, run around in a line, and stop to shake my hand. They keep their other hand supporting an elbow, palm faced out. It's Chinese tradition; it means that you're not their foe, and you have no weapons with you. You have to do it, because it's polite. I remember Matt, Teddy, Damon, Crystal, and... o_x; Well, I forgot the others, but I'm working on it!

It's fun.. :3 I wanna go practice that backhand before I go out to play!

Current Mood: excited
Current Music: The Donnas >> Take it off

šhå®¡ñg †ímê wï†h ýðü... ¤ 5 smiles.

|d|a|t|e|?|Feb. 5th, 2003. |t|i|m|e|?| 03:08pm

I got a 2.33 on my report card. I tried my hardest, I did. I got straight C's and one A... in Phys Ed. So that doesn't count. I was there every day, but I was marked absent for 7 days in Science?! I was only sick twice!! And my grandparents aren't going to be happy that I got a C in Spanish. They're all: "Oh, it's in your blood, you should be getting A's." Well gee, Gramps, I must've lost my Spanish blood those times when I cut myself, you fucking son of a bitch! I hate them. I hate everyone.

I'm going to drop Spanish. I'm going to drop Math, Science and Social Studies after my junior year. I'm going to pick up Computer Graphics and Japanese 1 & 2... along with, probably, one more elective (probably an art thing). I'm not going to try to get in the University of Maryland anymore, so just screw it. Know what I'm gonna do? Scrap my old dreams and, if I don't get into any colleges, just head out either to Florida, or maybe Japan. I'll get a job as a graphics designer.

Mrs. Richo said I would get a lot of money doing that, and with the "talent" I had, no one would think twice about me.

That'll be the day.

Current Mood: depressed
Current Music: Go!Go!7188 >> Dotanba de CANCEL

šhå®¡ñg †ímê wï†h ýðü... ¤ 8 smiles.

|d|a|t|e|?|Feb. 4th, 2003. |t|i|m|e|?| 06:02am

Okay, while I like this song and all... the "great blue dessert"?! What the fuck. o_o; Anyway, that's besides the point... well, I have no point, but I'll make it soon enough. :x

The family was fighting... again. (What a great welcome-home for me.) I couldn't sleep because they were yelling so loud, even at 11:00. I could hear Leila crying, and I could hear mom and dad's voices, but nothing was distinct, and nothing sounded pleasant even if I didn't know what was going on. I thought maybe Dad just wanted Leila to study some more, like he always does.. but.. well, I woke up this morning and found him sleeping on the couch. He even told me that Mom "made him sleep on the couch" because "he was being punished."

What do I look like, a dumb ass? Anyone? Do I look stupid to you?! Tch... parents. Can't live with 'em. Can't live without 'em. Especially because they take your favorite space on the motherfucking couch and make it smell like tobacco.

Current Mood: cold
Current Music: One Piece >> Sanji THE GREAT BLUE ~ dessert

šhå®¡ñg †ímê wï†h ýðü... ¤ 2 smiles.

|d|a|t|e|?|Feb. 3rd, 2003. |t|i|m|e|?| 10:37pm

Oh yeah... does anyone know when Garth Nix's "Abhorsen" is coming out? (It's the next part in the books, and I loved "Sabriel" and "Lirael" to bits!) And... um... yeah, and when is Guilty Gear XX/ X2 being released here? I thought it was February 2003, riiight? Maybe I'll wait till March or April, have the prices go down. But I do wanna know about "Abhorsen." Someone's gotta tell me. ^^; And g'night everyone! Don't mind the following sob-fest of a journal entry, it's just me being retarded! ^^

šhå®¡ñg †ímê wï†h ýðü... ¤ 10 smiles.

|d|a|t|e|?|Feb. 3rd, 2003. |t|i|m|e|?| 09:32pm

Yeah, I really miss CT now. So much seems so dull now that I'm back here; No more Au Bon Pain when I want it and no listening to WNHU while jumping from bed to bed screaming hateful things at the top of my lungs like American Nothing and Kid Gorgeous. No more having to walk into a hotel room and complain about how tired I am because the day was so eventful and busy. No more listening to the ambulances at three in the morning, or the drunk college girls outside my bed. No more neon lighting from the mediterranean café across the street (which, by the way, has the best Shawarma that any American city can offer). Nope, not for me; the only thing I've got to be even slightly excited about is whether or not there's a school cancelling or a snow day. Maybe even if it was only four days, it was better than being here. I didn't have to eat when I didn't want to, I didn't have to "watch my mouth" because of those around me...

That's another thing. The people around me are really starting to piss me off and I don't even want them to. I love all my friends, both old and new, to bits and pieces. Of course, my "new" friends (just a small group, you know?) are really the only ones who seemed happy that I'm actually here. They'd laugh when I was obnoxious, they were dying to know all about Yale, they didn't care whether or not I brought anything for them or if I was missing them, they just claimed to miss me. The "old" friends? Like I was here all along. They don't laugh, they just roll their eyes and say "shut up." They didn't seem interested in the trip that I was so eager to talk about... then again, life does go on whether or not I'm a part of it.

I'm just not a part of theirs anymore.

Current Mood: contemplative
Current Music: L'Arc - En - Ciel >> Neo Universe

šhå®¡ñg †ímê wï†h ýðü... ¤

[ go | earlier ]

	\|d\|a\|t\|e\|?\|Feb. 19th, 2003. \|t\|i\|m\|e\|?\| 10:23am
Happy birthday, utsukushii_sora!! :D Be happy~!!
šhå®¡ñg †ímê wï†h ýðü... ¤ 2 smiles.

	\|d\|a\|t\|e\|?\|Feb. 19th, 2003. \|t\|i\|m\|e\|?\| 12:25am
Ikaru: My booty only needs rough love from a girl's strap on. x.x; Yeah. This is exactly what you want to see at 12 in the morning. Current Mood: tired Current Music: Silence...
šhå®¡ñg †ímê wï†h ýðü... ¤ 4 smiles.

	\|d\|a\|t\|e\|?\|Feb. 17th, 2003. \|t\|i\|m\|e\|?\| 10:08pm
I like this song. It's so r0x0r my s0x0rs and no b0x0rs. And I must stop being a dork. Yes. I'm being a dork. x_X; My layouts look so oogly moogly. Man.. anyway... I went out and played in the snow today. It rocked, but I still felt out of place. I'm just the socially inept beast of a child with no friends... well, no friends that care. I mean, what with this whole two-faced-Cherise crisis and then no one else ever cared anyway. But today was Leila's birthday. And Happy Birthday Leila. At 2:17 today Mom wanted to call Leila to make a wish (2:17, 2/17! Get it?) because she thought it was funny, but we couldn't find her. So I made a wish for her and I wished that she'd be a lot happier. I hope it comes true, even though I never believed in making any wishes. Mine never came true anyway. They still don't. Anyway, I feel so bored. I wish I could get out more, now that we're snowed in. Isn't it ironic? Current Mood: listless Current Music: Lapis Lazuli >> Fuuga (Vocal Version of Anji Mito's theme)
šhå®¡ñg †ímê wï†h ýðü... ¤ 2 smiles.

	\|d\|a\|t\|e\|?\|Feb. 16th, 2003. \|t\|i\|m\|e\|?\| 09:51pm
I saw "My big fat Greek wedding" again. I like that movie for some reason. The father there reminds me of my father. Sooooo obsessed with the Arab culture. I have to be a muslim, I have to marry a muslim male, yada yada yada. He even goes so far as to asking me to give him any word and he'll find its Arab roots... sometimes. But when he does do it, you wish he didn't. You know? Well, OK, maybe you don't know, but be lucky you don't. Anyway, I'm tired. Did I mention we're snowed in? We're SO going to be going to school till halfway through the summer... Current Mood: indescribable Current Music: Daisuke Ishiwatari >> Existence
šhå®¡ñg †ímê wï†h ýðü... ¤ 6 smiles.

	\|d\|a\|t\|e\|?\|Feb. 15th, 2003. \|t\|i\|m\|e\|?\| 01:23pm
This song reminds me of Rose. Why is it that the one person I ever really felt attracted to is the one person I can't have?!! Damn it! And I'll probably never see her again, either! Why, of all people I could've picked out of a crowd, did I go for the one that... nevermind. Maybe it was just meant to happen. If people like her lived here, I wouldn't feel so alone. And she was cute, too. I mean, very cute. Innocent-like cute. When she danced, she was actually dancing, not just sticking her ass up in the air and grinding. She was the most modest-dressed person there, too.. even moreso than me, because I had gone all out that night just to catch someone's eye. But why did I just have to catch hers? It's so unfair.. when I went back to the hotel that night, everyone gave me this pat on the back because (in Rabia's words): "I never thought you'd find someone... not here anyway." And I just smiled and figured that I'd get over her, and went to sleep that night without thinking about her twice. Before the closing ceremonies the next day, she gave me her e-mail address and said, "I must sound like a dork, but why don't we keep in touch this way?" Why'd I have to write her? I feel so alone now... Current Mood: lonely Current Music: t.A.T.u >> All the things she said
šhå®¡ñg †ímê wï†h ýðü... ¤

	\|d\|a\|t\|e\|?\|Feb. 13th, 2003. \|t\|i\|m\|e\|?\| 09:12pm
Tonight was FUN. ;D I got to learn grappling techniques and I got to hurt a brown - with - white - stripe - belt kid! :DDDD But.. ^^; I kept saying "I'm so sorry!" every time one of them started to wrinkle their faces in protest... after I twisted their arms, hands, and pulled back their fingers. ^^; I know I was told not to say sorry to anyone above a red belt, but I couldn't help it. But, yeah... tonight's was a real work out. But I need a shower. After all that, I smell... funky. O_o Tomorrow is the oh-so-dreaded Valentine's day. >/ I'll get used to it. My father bought my mother this really super cute card and I was like: ________________ WE'RE A GOOD FAMILY AFTER ALL! It's also Kathleen's birthday tomorrow! I'll get her some moo-lah. She said she wanted moo-lah. I'm already working on her Axl-Low costume for Otakon. I think I'll have to paint over my treasured Globe shirt, since it's the only long red shirt I have.. so... ._.;; But I'll live. I can always get another shirt.. in the men's department. x3 Way to go me. Current Mood: tired Current Music: Hitomi >> Maria (album mix)
šhå®¡ñg †ímê wï†h ýðü... ¤ 4 smiles.

	\|d\|a\|t\|e\|?\|Feb. 12th, 2003. \|t\|i\|m\|e\|?\| 09:02pm
Here! I made some spiff icons for you guys! And since I'm retarded and can't use LJ-cut, I'll just post them here! By the way, the Luffy one might be a little too big to use for a blurty icon.. but if you want to use it as a message board sig., go on ahead! Current Mood: happy Current Music: Yôkoso CDs disc 2 >> Telling time.
šhå®¡ñg †ímê wï†h ýðü... ¤ 20 smiles.

	\|d\|a\|t\|e\|?\|Feb. 11th, 2003. \|t\|i\|m\|e\|?\| 09:23pm
What's the big deal with Valentine's day? Only an even bigger chance for the people that are hoes to be even bigger hoes with their boyfriends, who they think are just "soooo cuuuuute"although they have acne all over their faces and it contrasts greatly with their bleached hair, and their blue eyes, and their piercings which, by the way, are OUT OF THE STYLE. ><;;;; I might as well go up to one of those pimple-ridden fuckers and shout, "Hey, Pizza-face! How's it goin'?!" .. sigh. I got back from Karate class just a little while ago. It was fun, but tiring. Oh.. and I hate life. Again. Did I mention that? I'm going to sleep now.. >>; Or at least I hope so. Leila helped me rearrange my room so now I have a TV. Every time I want to go to sleep, something cool comes on and I'm all like: O_O Oh... and I listen to those Yôkoso CDs that Midori-sensei gave me to practice my Japanese with. I play them when I go to sleep. :B Great way to enforce that craziness into my head. Now, if I could find my actual textbook, I'd enforce it even more, damn it! :/ And.. I'm still sleepy. dies X_x; .. And I need a hug. Current Mood: tired Current Music: One Piece >> Wanted!
šhå®¡ñg †ímê wï†h ýðü... ¤ 13 smiles.

	\|d\|a\|t\|e\|?\|Feb. 8th, 2003. \|t\|i\|m\|e\|?\| 07:56pm
I got Guilty Gear X2 today. :3 It is so spiff. I love Zappa and his demented ness. Did you know that Ueda Yuuji was his seiyuu? (He's also the seiyuu for Amiboshi/Suboshi.) And Inoue Kikuko, or something like that, is I-no? ^^; And Koyasu Takehito is Zato-1/ Eddie? Isn't that spiff? :3 Anyway, I didn't get to see "Chicago" with Leila and the group because they told me they were going to see "How to lose a guy in 10 days," and I think that movie looks stupid, so... yeah. I missed my chance. ;_; Now Leila says I should go with Will to see it, but... ewww~! Boys have cooties!! ;_______;!!! Current Mood: hyper Current Music: t.A.T.u >> All the things she said
šhå®¡ñg †ímê wï†h ýðü... ¤ 1 smile.

	\|d\|a\|t\|e\|?\|Feb. 7th, 2003. \|t\|i\|m\|e\|?\| 09:40am
What a relief, we have snow! And lots of it, no less! It's really pretty... I might actually go out in it this time. And what a lifesaver! I have an assignment that I didn't finish, and it would've been due today if we had school! Whoo!!! ^^v Now I got a weekend to do it! Gomen ne, Maji, that I've deleted my Ramza icon (I know how you liked that one. x3).. I'll send it to you later through e-mail... or something like that. But I did make a Kurapica icon. :3 He so cute. ... ANYWAY! Man, last night was the best. I had my first actual Karate class, and I "picked skills up quickly" according to the Malinger. At the end, I had to go present myself to the older students, and show them the techniques I learned as they called them out. And at the end of each one, I had to shout, "SIR!" or "MA'AM!" depending on who it was. Shi-Fu Sean's been working with me a lot more, so I can now do single punches, double punches, Shi-bu stance, Ma-bu stance, Kung-bu stance, three different kinds of bows, Li-chou, Li-bé, and Relax. I'm working on a back-hand sort of thing, as if I punched but my hand was blocked, so I bring it around and hit Shi-Fu in the head before I block my face. But it's hard, because he keeps guiding my arm and telling me to get into a Kung-bu stance while I punch. After I presented myself to everyone, I got a hand clap. ^^; The older ones were all like, "Way to go, new girl!" even though... ;_; I have to sit at the end of the line. It's about rank; the "strongest" is at the very end, and the weakest (me) is the last one. It'll change when a new student comes, and I won't have to be at the end anymore. They introduced themselves to me in a funny way. They line up, run around in a line, and stop to shake my hand. They keep their other hand supporting an elbow, palm faced out. It's Chinese tradition; it means that you're not their foe, and you have no weapons with you. You have to do it, because it's polite. I remember Matt, Teddy, Damon, Crystal, and... o_x; Well, I forgot the others, but I'm working on it! It's fun.. :3 I wanna go practice that backhand before I go out to play! Current Mood: excited Current Music: The Donnas >> Take it off
šhå®¡ñg †ímê wï†h ýðü... ¤ 5 smiles.

	\|d\|a\|t\|e\|?\|Feb. 5th, 2003. \|t\|i\|m\|e\|?\| 03:08pm
I got a 2.33 on my report card. I tried my hardest, I did. I got straight C's and one A... in Phys Ed. So that doesn't count. I was there every day, but I was marked absent for 7 days in Science?! I was only sick twice!! And my grandparents aren't going to be happy that I got a C in Spanish. They're all: "Oh, it's in your blood, you should be getting A's." Well gee, Gramps, I must've lost my Spanish blood those times when I cut myself, you fucking son of a bitch! I hate them. I hate everyone. I'm going to drop Spanish. I'm going to drop Math, Science and Social Studies after my junior year. I'm going to pick up Computer Graphics and Japanese 1 & 2... along with, probably, one more elective (probably an art thing). I'm not going to try to get in the University of Maryland anymore, so just screw it. Know what I'm gonna do? Scrap my old dreams and, if I don't get into any colleges, just head out either to Florida, or maybe Japan. I'll get a job as a graphics designer. Mrs. Richo said I would get a lot of money doing that, and with the "talent" I had, no one would think twice about me. That'll be the day. Current Mood: depressed Current Music: Go!Go!7188 >> Dotanba de CANCEL
šhå®¡ñg †ímê wï†h ýðü... ¤ 8 smiles.

	\|d\|a\|t\|e\|?\|Feb. 4th, 2003. \|t\|i\|m\|e\|?\| 06:02am
Okay, while I like this song and all... the "great blue dessert"?! What the fuck. o_o; Anyway, that's besides the point... well, I have no point, but I'll make it soon enough. :x The family was fighting... again. (What a great welcome-home for me.) I couldn't sleep because they were yelling so loud, even at 11:00. I could hear Leila crying, and I could hear mom and dad's voices, but nothing was distinct, and nothing sounded pleasant even if I didn't know what was going on. I thought maybe Dad just wanted Leila to study some more, like he always does.. but.. well, I woke up this morning and found him sleeping on the couch. He even told me that Mom "made him sleep on the couch" because "he was being punished." What do I look like, a dumb ass? Anyone? Do I look stupid to you?! Tch... parents. Can't live with 'em. Can't live without 'em. Especially because they take your favorite space on the motherfucking couch and make it smell like tobacco. Current Mood: cold Current Music: One Piece >> Sanji THE GREAT BLUE ~ dessert
šhå®¡ñg †ímê wï†h ýðü... ¤ 2 smiles.

	\|d\|a\|t\|e\|?\|Feb. 3rd, 2003. \|t\|i\|m\|e\|?\| 10:37pm
Oh yeah... does anyone know when Garth Nix's "Abhorsen" is coming out? (It's the next part in the books, and I loved "Sabriel" and "Lirael" to bits!) And... um... yeah, and when is Guilty Gear XX/ X2 being released here? I thought it was February 2003, riiight? Maybe I'll wait till March or April, have the prices go down. But I do wanna know about "Abhorsen." Someone's gotta tell me. ^^; And g'night everyone! Don't mind the following sob-fest of a journal entry, it's just me being retarded! ^^
šhå®¡ñg †ímê wï†h ýðü... ¤ 10 smiles.

	\|d\|a\|t\|e\|?\|Feb. 3rd, 2003. \|t\|i\|m\|e\|?\| 09:32pm
Yeah, I really miss CT now. So much seems so dull now that I'm back here; No more Au Bon Pain when I want it and no listening to WNHU while jumping from bed to bed screaming hateful things at the top of my lungs like American Nothing and Kid Gorgeous. No more having to walk into a hotel room and complain about how tired I am because the day was so eventful and busy. No more listening to the ambulances at three in the morning, or the drunk college girls outside my bed. No more neon lighting from the mediterranean café across the street (which, by the way, has the best Shawarma that any American city can offer). Nope, not for me; the only thing I've got to be even slightly excited about is whether or not there's a school cancelling or a snow day. Maybe even if it was only four days, it was better than being here. I didn't have to eat when I didn't want to, I didn't have to "watch my mouth" because of those around me... That's another thing. The people around me are really starting to piss me off and I don't even want them to. I love all my friends, both old and new, to bits and pieces. Of course, my "new" friends (just a small group, you know?) are really the only ones who seemed happy that I'm actually here. They'd laugh when I was obnoxious, they were dying to know all about Yale, they didn't care whether or not I brought anything for them or if I was missing them, they just claimed to miss me. The "old" friends? Like I was here all along. They don't laugh, they just roll their eyes and say "shut up." They didn't seem interested in the trip that I was so eager to talk about... then again, life does go on whether or not I'm a part of it. I'm just not a part of theirs anymore. Current Mood: contemplative Current Music: L'Arc - En - Ciel >> Neo Universe
šhå®¡ñg †ímê wï†h ýðü... ¤